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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 12:41 pm 
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You have to admire the way footballers can so effortlessly slip into platitude and controversy-free clichés when required.

Sky Sports News were this morning taking the 'Literally nobody has heard of him' approach to the reporting of Stale Stolbakken's appointment at Wolves, and accosted a number of their players as they drove into their training ground.

After some shrugs and grunts from Roger Johnson and Ronald Zubar, George Elokobi was interrogated, and asked the following:

Do you know who he is? "No."

Do you believe he can get you straight back into the Premier League? "Yes."

So, he's got no idea who the new boss is, but he's confident in his abilities. Smashing.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 12:42 pm 
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Reports The Daily Record:

'Former Celtic goalie Magnus Hedman blew a £5million fortune while taking cocaine and sleeping with prostitutes.'

Blimey. Quite the multi-tasker. But that's eBay for you.

And, to paraphrase George Best, presumably he just squandered the rest of his money.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon May 14, 2012 1:09 pm 
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We know The Daily Mail, like many papers, are shameless in their 'We told you so' bragging, but they surpass themselves this morning.

In the middle of their coverage of Manchester United losing their title, they quote a piece written by Martin Samuel in 2009, just after United sold Cristiano Ronaldo.

'Warning sign: Martin Samuel's take on the transfer of Cristiano Ronaldo to Real Madrid,' they smugly parp.

Samuel wrote, quite sensibly and correctly, that selling your best player does not make you a better team, no matter how much money you get for him. Quite so.

However, since that sale, United have won the league and reached the Champions League final. And now the Mail choose to jump around, shouting 'WE TOLD YOU SO! WE TOLD YOU SO!'

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue May 15, 2012 2:08 pm 
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Richard Edghill was on Sky Sports News on Monday, bringing back memories of a thousand mid-nineties Panini sticker albums.

And the former Manchester City defender was talking about his team's title win.

He said: "It's always good to see somebody different win the title, nobody likes it when the same team wins it all the time."

Fair point. It does get rather tedious when someone dominates completely. However, in the next breath:

"There's no reason why City can't win the title year after year after year."

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 12:35 pm 
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Sage logic from Oliver Holt in The Daily Mirror, on the delicate balance of the England squad.

He writes: 'It is a shame to have to think this way but if Ferdinand is out and Terry is in, it risks inflaming racial sensitivities.'

OK. Fair enough. How would you solve this problem then?

'My choice would have been to take both Terry and Ferdinand to Poland and Ukraine. The rationale is simple: when they're fit, they are still our two best central defenders.'

So, having identified racial sensitivities as a potential problem for the England squad, the solution is to pick the man who will be on trial for alleged racial abuse to play alongside the brother of the man he allegedly abused?

Good. Glad you've negotiated that particular minefield for us, Oliver.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:30 pm 
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Middle Eastern airports are a great place for loud slapstick comedy – as goalhound Gonzalo Higuain demonstrated on his arrival in Kuwait with the rest of the Real Madrid squad ahead of their friendly against the national side later tonight…


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 12:43 pm 
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You have to love football fans. After 'The News' on Wednesday, Sky Sports News approached a Liverpool fan for his thoughts on what went wrong, and what happens next. The exchange went thusly:

Fan: "The problem with Kenny was, you should never go back."

Reporter: "Who do you want next?"

Fan: "Rafa."

Lovely stuff.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 17, 2012 1:20 pm 
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:laugh:

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 2:22 pm 
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Says Ian Wright on West Ham in The Sun: 'I was there the last time they really caused a ripple in the Premier League, finishing eighth under Harry Redknapp.'

Erm, except they finished fifth that season (1998-99), Ian. You should probably remember - you were top scorer with nine goals.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 1:45 pm 
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We missed this one on Tuesday, but The Daily Mail must've been awfully pleased with their feature about Eden Hazard.

So which expert did they get to offer some insight about Belgium's biggest tease? A former coach perhaps? Maybe a teammate? An expert on French football?

No. They got Micky Hazard. On the basis their surnames are spelled - but not pronounced - the same. Ye gads. Still, perhaps Micky did have some intelligent points to make about Eden.

He said: "He must be very good to have these clubs after him. People keep on saying we're related."

Brilliant.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:34 pm 
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Eden Hazard is joining Chelsea for rather a large sum of money - possibly £32m (The Sun, The Daily Mirror), maybe £35.3m (Daily Telegraph) or even a massive £36m (The Daily Star). But that sum of money is just not large enough for Jason Burt of the Telegraph, whose piece trumpets: 'Chelsea's rebuilding grows with £78m Eden Hazard signing'. Wow. £78m is an awful lot of money.

So how has Jason reached the magic £78m figure? Well, there's the £35.3m transfer fee. Then there's the five-year contract worth £9m a year and then there's the £6m fee for his agent John Bico.

So that's £35.3m + £45m + £6m = erm, £86.3m.

Is this the first example in history of a football journalist deflating the cost of a footballer?

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 12:38 pm 
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Ian Wright (the wag) appears to have got confused about the nature of his 'call-up' for this summer's European Championship.

"I had to tell my missus that I'm gonna be working all of that time over the summer," revealed Wright. "It didn't go down that great because we were supposed to go on holiday but my country calls!"

'His country'? Wright will be working for Absolute Radio.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:58 pm 
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Included in Thomson Sport's 'Top 10 Players to watch out for at UEFA Euro 2012' is Eden Hazard. Apparently Euro 2012 'could be a great place for Hazard to showcase his talent'.

Unless his 'talent' is street theatre, he might struggle.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 12:59 pm 
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:doh:

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 1:14 pm 
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But you can watch him along with his Belgian team giving England the run-around this Saturday at least.

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But James and Pak both said they were voting JSP


:doh:

You know what Paks like. He's probably voted JSP for woman of the year or something.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Thu May 31, 2012 1:15 pm 
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Maybe he's one of the ebay fans for sale?

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2012 1:56 pm 
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Police were called to one of Britain's greatest stately homes as the wedding of former Newcastle United star Danny Guthrie descended into a mass brawl.

Guests began throwing lobster thermidor at each other early in the evening during the reception at Allerton Castle near Harrogate.

Full-blown violence erupted later in the evening as Guthrie's bride Rebecca Middleman was reportedly punched in the face and sent to hospital for checks.

Staff at the venue - which was once owned by the brother of King George IV - told the Sunday Telegraph that the guests "behaved like peasants with money" and complained that the revellers at the 25-year-old footballer's £40,000 wedding were, "more Big Fat Gypsy Wedding than our usual clientele."

Former England schoolboy midfielder Guthrie, who came through the youth system at Liverpool, is currently a free agent after being released by Newcastle at the beginning of the month.

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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 10:23 am 
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Aston Villa striker Christian Benteke, 21, says "Arsenal are the club I love" and admits that when he joined Villa he thought they were based in London.


:lol: oh dear

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idontfeardeath wrote:
Spawny wrote:
But James and Pak both said they were voting JSP


:doh:

You know what Paks like. He's probably voted JSP for woman of the year or something.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Wed Dec 05, 2012 10:40 am 
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FC Twente midfielder Leroy Fer has become a laughing stock among his team-mates after buying his girlfriend a £22,000 pet horse - only to find out she can't keep it as she lives in a block of flats.

Full story: Metro

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idontfeardeath wrote:
Spawny wrote:
But James and Pak both said they were voting JSP


:doh:

You know what Paks like. He's probably voted JSP for woman of the year or something.


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 Post subject: Re: Who Says Footballers, Fans & Journalists Aren't Dumb?
PostPosted: Sat Apr 27, 2013 8:15 am 
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I Think I Got Away With It

Hats off to Derek McGovern, who in an eight-paragraph piece in The Daily Mirror about Robert Lewandowski - a Polish man playing football in Germany - manages to squeeze in three references to the war, one about Polish workers taking all our jobs in England and another about penalties.

Impressive in some ways. Tiresome, tedious and faintly depressing, in others.

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